Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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