like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
