do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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