im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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