you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
