We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize