wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, beer. Big fan.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
