whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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