I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm really busy with my period
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