I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
