you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
