It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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