i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
