Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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