just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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