I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
