So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
