do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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