Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
