she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
