I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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