I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Did I show you my penis last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
