Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love having hate sex.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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