bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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