carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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