He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
