Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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