i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
