I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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