We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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