Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
