What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
