how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
