so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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