Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
