Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just gift wrapped bread.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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