im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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