Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
