yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
