It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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