Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
