thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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