So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
