We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
