I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
