so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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