Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
