yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
