Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
