Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
did you just send me my own nude
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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