I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
