Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
