can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
