That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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