I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize