At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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