Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
